The Oni and The Irishman
by Marioninja1
Summary: A collaboration between Xan075 and I, featuring Riley and Kylie
1. Trailer

When Riley and Kylie McConnell, the famous sibling Meister-Weapon team,

are assigned to catch the infamous deserter Xan, will they do as DWMA says,

or bite the hand that feeds them?

A collaboration between Marioninja1, author of Soul Eater: Riley and Naruto: Kyle's Story and Xan075, author of Soul Eater: Oni, with action, drama, comedy, and, of course, Irish protaganists.

Coming soon to a computer near you!


	2. Prologue

Riley

_ 'I don't mean to make obscene/But even the mob, know what the hell I mean/The knot is tight, on my blindfold/I got my flesh full of blood, I hate rock n roll/Some think too much, then come too soon/I just curse the sun, so I can howl at the moon'_

As I listened to Queens of the Stone Age's song, 'You Got A Killer Scene There, Man', I watched the witch walk out of the house, and blood immediately began to rise to my cheeks. Me and Kylie...Sorry, Kylie and I (Maka was trying to get me to use better grammar) had been 'elected due to our exceptional witch-hunting abilities' to help these two new kids fight a witch.

By 'elected due to our exceptional witch-hunting abilities' they meant 'chosen by these two kids because Kylie and I were heroes at DWMA.'

"You sure we should attack this witch. I mean, she's kinda..." I trailed off.

"Hot?" The boy asked. He had black hair, and wore a white bandana, so he reminded me of Soul.

"Pretty much." I said, and was hit on the back of the head.

"Don't be a pervert," Kylie scolded.

The boy was hit on the back of the head by his weapon, a girl with long strawberry- blonde hair, styled like Liz' hair. "Yeah, pervert."

"Is there an echo here?" The boy asked.

"Kids!" I said, but I think that made them argue that much harder. I sighed, and looked at Kylie. "How'd these two ever get this far?"

Kylie shrugged. "I think Eva's parent, a Death Scythe, had something to do with it."

"Um...This is gonna seem really, _really_ careless, but what are the kid's names?" I asked.

"The girl's name is Eva, the boy's name is Luc." Kylie said.

**A/N: Yes, I do spell my first name Luc. No, that isn't a self-insert. -MN1**

"Really? Huh."

"You know the girl's been looking at your butt the whole mission, right?"

"Kylie, she's right-Oh piss!" I shouted. Luc and Eva weren't beside us. Instead, they were attacking the witch!

I picked Kylie up and ran down the hill we'd been watching the witch on, nearly falling over.

"We're here to take your soul!" Luc proclaimed, holding Eva. Eva was a cutlass, with a golden handle.

"Well, that won't do." The witch smiled, and held a small pumpkin in her hand.

"What's she going to do with that?" Kylie asked, turning into a claymore.

I attached her sheath to my belt and, still running down the hill, said "If Spider-man is any indication, it's a freakin' grenade."

And, right after I said that, the witch tossed the pumpkin- At us! It hit the ground in front of me, sending me flying back.

"Piss!" I said, smashing into the ground. My left shoulder popped, dislocated, and I shouted in pain.

"Rye!" Kylie said. "Luc and Eva are going to get killed! Get up!"

I forced myself up, and saw that, indeed, Luc was backing up, about to get himself cornered.

"I'm gonna hate myself for this." I said, and I put a pen I had on me in my mouth. Then, I took a deep breath, and popped my shoulder back into place, biting the pen in half. "Hey!" I shouted, getting the witch's attention. "Fight me!" I said, staring right into the witch's eyes.

The witch shrugged. "You'll both die anyway. Who are you two?"

"I'm Riley McConnell, and my Weapon is Kylie McConnell, a Death Scythe." I said. "We've been assigned to help these two kill a witch."

"Is that allowed?" The witch asked.

I shrugged. "Don't care."

The witch smiled, then started forming several small pumpkins behind her.

"You'd better be quick about it. If I use any of these pumpkins, these two-" The witch suddenly stopped when I shoved Kylie deep into her stomach.

"A bit faster than you thought we were, huh?" I asked, pulling Kylie out. The witch fell down, and, as her corpse hit the pavement, her soul slowly began to raise in the air.

"Thanks," Luc smiled, scratching the back of his head.

"That was stupid," I said as Kylie changed back into a human. "Why did you run off without us?"

"I-I dunno," Luc said, with a sudden interest in his shoes.

I smiled a bit, despite myself. "'Least were all okay, right? Make sure to have a plan next time. Or, at least, the beginnings of a plan."

Luc nodded, smiling brightly. "Okay."

It surprised me that Luc was thirteen, only four years my junior. 'Course, Eva was a little older, at fourteen, a year older than Kylie.

Then, suddenly, Eva's cell-phone rang. She picked it up, and said "Hello? What!" Eva looked at us, her big blue eyes worried. "There's explosions in Rio De Janeiro. Do you guys know anyone there?"

"Xan," Kylie muttered.

**A/N: Make sure to read Xan075's half, to get the whole story. (Don't forget to review mine and his, too!)**

**-MN1**


	3. Chapter 1

Riley

I was woke up by Kylie in the middle of the night, holding her phone in one hand.

"We have to go see Shinigami-sama." Kylie yawned.

"Y'know, the Irish don't like being woke up really late." I said.

"Nobody does," Kylie said. "Now, get up!"

I stood, stretching. "This had better be good."

_In the Death Room._

"Heya! Hiya! Heya!" Shinigami-sama waved to the several shibusen gathered in the Death Room.

"H-Hey, Riley." Eva said.

"Oh. Hey. Eva, right? How's it going?" I asked.

"Pretty good," Eva blushed.

"Rye, Shinigami-sama's talking." Kylie said.

"Oh. Right." I said.

"A student named Xan is suspected to be the bomber," Shinigami-sama said, holding a photo of Xan.

"Why does he look so much like a cowboy?" Kylie muttered.

"He's an expert at making grenades, and he has a Weapon with a surplus of ability." Shinigami-sama said.

"'Surplus of ability'?" I quoted, a big anime sweat-drop running down the back of my head.

"Sid will lead you in a raid of their hotel. Make sure to not hurt Kid, or his Weapons, Patti and Liz." Shinigami-sama said as Sid walked out.

And there was, like, an hour of debriefing that I slept through.

Then, I was awoke by a swift elbow to my ribs. "We're leaving!" Kylie said.

I yawned. "Okay."

Luc laughed, but Eva glared at him until he stopped.

"Where's Xan, again?" I asked.

"Rio De Janeiro." Kylie said.

"Where's that? Spain?"

"Brazil."

"Where's that?" I asked.

"I can really see how you nearly failed Social Studies." Kylie said.

_Rio De Janeiro, in a car owned by the DWMA._

_'Well now then Mardy Bum/I've seen your frown/And it's like looking down the barrel of a gun'_

I listened to 'Mardy Bum' by the Arctic Monkeys as the others talked.

"So, are Death Scythe missions like this a lot?" Eva asked, ever the curious girl. Eva's eyes kept wandering over to me, and I just didn't get it.

Kylie shrugged. "This isn't a Death Scythe-only mission, or else more adults would be here."

"And Maka's team would be here." I said.

"What do you think this is going to be like?" Luc asked. His outfit was weird compared to everyone else's: everyone wore the same clothes that Sid had, but Luc wore a forest camo bandana as well as a forest camo best and pants, making him look like Naked Snake from Metal Gear Solid 3.

"I don't know, Snake." I chuckled. "Maybe Kid Ocelot'll shoot at us."

"What's an Ocelot?" Luc asked.

"Hey Stein," Eva said, nudging the creepy guy, who had been deep in thought. "What do you think about Xan?"

"I like his chemical experimentation." Stein said.

"How about you, Riley?" Eva asked.

I shrugged. "He seemed pretty cool. Not at all like he'd blow up Brazil."

"Rio De Janeiro." Kylie said. "I like him."

"Ooooh! Does Soul have competition?" I laughed, Kylie hitting me a few times.

"How about you, Luc?" Eva asked.

"I don't know. I mean, he looked like an outlaw, but what could justify blowing stuff up?" Luc asked.

"Luc," Kylie said. "You look like an outlaw, too."

Luc frowned as Kylie and Eva laughed.

_The apartment._

Sid was about to kick the door down when Kid walked out, bumping in to him.

"Hi!" Kylie said, holding up a peace symbol in the split second it took Kid to realize what was going on.

Kid ran back into the hotel room, summoning Beelzebub. We all looked at Sid, wondering what to do.

Luc ran into the room, moving past us as Kid jumped out of the window, one of his pistols in his hand.

"There isn't anything here," Luc said to us as we slowly entered the room. Then, he looked around the room with his green eyes, but stopped on the window. "What was that about?" Luc asked.

"I don't know," Kylie said, "would you jump out of a window if a whole bunch of guys were outside of your door?"

"No. Unlike some people, Kylie, I don't want to be splattered on asphalt." Luc said


	4. Chapter 2

Luc

I don't know why everyone thought I was a kid, or why Riley kept calling me 'Snake.' Since Xan had dropped off the map, the mission had changed into a field-trip to Rio De Janeiro, with the younger students (Eva and I) getting chaperoned by the older students (Riley and Kylie.)

"What do you guys want to do?" Riley asked as we got out of the vehicle we had been using.

"I dunno." I said. Then, I saw Kid walking towards us, looking exhausted.

"Hey Kid," Kylie said. It was odd that I was older than Kylie by my head and shoulders while I had turned fourteen recently. Really recently.

"Xan didn't do anything." Kid said, sliding down a wall.

"Huh?" Riley asked.

"Xan and I were with each other during the explosions, and helped as many people as we could." Kid said. "He's innocent."

Kylie's face was full of doubt, while Riley's face showed that he believed every word Kid said.

I sighed. "This is the worst birthday ever."

"Huh?" Eva asked.

"Today's my birthday, and I'm missing it." I said, leaning against a wall. "All because of some guy that looks like a cowboy."

"Rye, do you believe that Xan's innocent?" Kylie asked, not listening to Eva and I.

"Aye. If Kid was with Xan, then Xan has to be innocent. Kid wouldn't blow stuff up." Riley said.

I immediately knew what Kylie was thinking, just by the expression on her face.

"You know Xan." I said. "You know he'd do something like this."

"What are you talking about?" Kylie asked.

"You heard me." I said, walking right in front of Kylie. "I can read expressions. For instance, Riley here thinks Xan is innocent. You look a bit guilty, as well as doubtful."

"You need to calm down," Kylie said, like I was some kid misbehaving.

"You need to tell me what's going on." I said. "And treat me as an equal."

"I will when you earn it," Kylie said. I clenched my fists and began walking off.

But, of course, Eva followed me.

"Luc, what was that about?" Eva asked.

"I can read people, okay? Kylie's hiding something." I said.

"But how do you know?" Eva asked.

"I don't. But we never will, unless Kylie tells us." I said. "But she never will, because I'm the only one who realizes anything, and everyone treats me like I'm a kid!"

Eva looked at me. "Why are you so angry?"

"You don't get it, do you? I worked my ass off with my last partner, only for it to blow up in my face. I worked hard with you, too, but it never amounted to anything!" Luc said.

"You had a partner before me?" Eva asked.

"Yeah. She got killed." I said.

"What happened?" Eva asked.

"It was my fault. I didn't act soon enough. I was too busy making plans, like everyone says I should."

"Is that why you stopped making plans?"

"Yes. Now I do whatever my instincts tell me." I said.

Riley

"Are you sure that Eva has a crush on me? I thought she and Luc were together," I said.

"Rye, to be honest, you wouldn't know if a girl had a crush on you if she ran up to you and kissed you." Kylie said. "You'd better tell her you're dating Maka before she gets her hopes up."

"Hey, do you think Luc's okay? He seems really angry." I said.

"He said something about missing something today." Kylie said. "Something ending with day."

"His birthday? He's missing his birthday?" I asked. "That means he'd as old as you. Kylie, do you think we're treating him like a kid?"

"You mean we weren't supposed to?" Kylie asked, and I saw just how far-reaching my actions were. Kylie saw me calling him a kid, and started treating him like a kid, thinking that was what she was supposed to. Now, Luc had blown up, and Eva was the only one trying to help him out.

"I'm a terrible person," I said, sitting down beside Kid.

"It's not your fault. Now come one. We've got to make it up to Luc." Kylie said.

**A/N: I reworked this chapter so many times, and I still hate it.**

**-MN1**


	5. Chapter 3

Riley

"Sorry, man." I said, standing in front of Luc. "Things got out of hand. We didn't mean to make you feel bad or anything. Are you still angry?"

Luc, at first, looked angry, then smiled. "Nah." I put my hand out and shook Luc's hand. "So, what should we do?"

I was about to ask what everyone thought when Luc's phone rang.

"It's Sid. I'll put him on speaker." Luc said, and soon we heard Sid's voice.

"Hello?" Sid asked.

"We're here." Luc said.

"What's up?" I asked.

"A man was assaulted. He was a newspaper editor, and had a front page saying Xan was the bomber." Sid said. "We want you to talk to him. We've got some guys who patched him up, and they say he's wanting to leave, so you'd better hurry."

"We'll be there." I said. "Thanks."

"Bye." Kylie said, and Luc hung the phone up.

_In the newspaper office._

"Jeez. You sure Xan's innocent. This guys looks like he was beaten with the ugly stick," Luc said, seeing the editor was out of earshot. "And guess who he's saying was holding it."

"You don't sound very convinced." I said.

"I'm not. I mean, why would Kid lie?" Luc asked.

"Well, Xan and him were friends." Kylie said.

"Do you have an opinion, Eva?" I asked.

Eva blushed. "Whatever you think."

Kylie rolled her eyes, and Luc sniggered. Eva immediately started shouting at him.

"Guys!" I said. "We gotta talk to this dude."

"Right." Luc said, standing military straight. We walked over to the guy (after I told him to stop acting like a soldier; it'd freak out the editor) and I sat beside him.

"Oh, great, other kids!" The editor said.

"Editor, we need to know what you told Xan." I said.

"My name is Gustavo!" The editor shouted.

"Gus-" I began.

"I'm not telling you anything!" Gustavo said.

Luc

"Then we can't keep you safe," I said.

Gustavo suddenly went silent. Good. My ears were hurting.

"Xan's gonna come back, Gustavo. He blew up a lot of your fine city here, and I'm sure offing another person isn't a problem." I said. "After all, you're just another loose end."

Gustavo suddenly jumped up, grabbing me around the neck and slamming me against the wall. I kicked at him, to no avail.

Then, Riley ripped him off of me, shoving him into a bookshelf. How cool is it that this giant seventeen-year old was my friend?

Very, very cool.

"Tell us what you told Xan." Riley asked.

"Or make sure to bury a six-foot hole." Kylie said. "Save Xan some trouble."

Gustavo sat back down, and sighed. "Moscow. I told him to go to Moscow."

"Russia?" I asked, rubbing my neck. "Why?"

"Are you going to give me protection or not?" Gustavo asked.

I smiled crookedly as the others walked out of the room.

"We're teenagers. We don't control whether you get protection or not." I said, then left Gustavo to his rage.

_Inside the car._

I was listening to 'For Whom The Bell Tolls' by Metallica when Riley asked for my phone. I gave it to him, turned off my iPod, and put my bandana over my eyes to get some sleep.

Riley

"Sid?" I asked.

"Yes?" Sid asked. I could hear voices in the background. I think it was Patti's.

"We need some plane tickets to Moscow." I said, then told Sid everything that had happened.

"Is Luc okay?" Sid asked.

"He's asleep right now." I said.

"Alright. We'll get you the tickets, as well as some parkas." Sid said. "See you at the airport."


	6. Chapter 4

Luc

When Riley and Kylie were both sleeping (with Kylie leaning on him like they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Yes, I did take a photo to blackmail him later) I turned to Eva, who was daydreaming.

"You like him, don't you?" I asked.

"Huh?" Eva asked, blushing. If you was around Eva as much as I was, you would know she blushes often.

"You have a crush on Riley." I said.

"Is it really that obvious?" Eva asked.

"He doesn't know, if that's what you mean. To the rest of us, though, it is." I said.

"Do you think he'd ever go out with me?" Eva whispered.

I flipped through a Teen Meister magazine, and saw the list of hottest couples. Kylie and Soul were highest for girls; for guys, it was Riley and Maka.

"He's dating Maka." I said.

"I know. But what if he wasn't?" Eva asked.

"Maybe." I shrugged. And, though I wanted to say it, I didn't say 'who wouldn't want to go out with a beautiful girl like you?'

"What are we going to do in Moscow?" Eva asked.

"We've got a link to an address. We think the Russian Mob might involved, but I don't think anyone knows for sure." I said, looking through the magazine.

"Are you seriously looking at a girl's magazine?" Eva asked.

"Hey, I might need prettying up after this." I smiled.

**A/N: If you knew how darkly ironic that was, you'd feel how I feel for planning a certain character's fate. And I feel like a bastard. -MN1**

_A house in the middle of nowhere._

It was really snowy, and the house looked empty.

"I'll go in." I said, and Eva took my hand, quickly changing into her Weapon form.

"Be careful." Riley said.

"Don't worry, Rye. I'm invincible." I smiled.

**A/N: That makes the only two people to call Riley 'Rye' in this whole series, in however-many-chapters, Luc and Kylie-MN1**

I walked up to the window, and pulled my winter camo jacket closer to me as the breeze picked up. Then, I slowly opened the window and crawled in, landing on the floor with a soft 'tap.'

I crouched and walked forward, peeking behind a van. I saw no one, and had just stepped out from in front of the van when two men walked into the garage, joking in Russian. When they saw me, we both looked at each other in surprise. Just imagine: the Russians saw a kid in forest camo pants, black boots, an arctic camo jacket, with black hair and a black headband. I'm surprised they didn't shoot at me sooner.

Riley

We stood out in front of the house for a while, when I started singing, bored.

"I am not afraid to keep on living/I am not afraid to walk this world alone/ honey if you stay I'll be forgiven/Nothing you can stay can stop me going home." I sang. Kylie smiled, and we kept singing 'Famous Last Words' by My Chemical Romance until a cutlass was suddenly tossed through the window Luc went through.

Eva changed back to her human form and said something. We didn't hear it, though, because a van smashed through the garage door, driving faster than a human could run. It didn't stop me, though. I ran after it, grabbing onto the back door and hitting the side of the car. I cut my fingers pretty bad (on what I don't know,) but I kept it up until I fell off, landing on the icy roads with a 'crack!', my head hitting the road.

Kylie and Eva ran beside me, worried.

"Where's the van going?" I asked, standing up and holding my throbbing head.

"Riley, you cut your head." Eva said.

"We need to regroup. Did anyone get the van's license plate numbers?" I asked.

Kylie nodded.

"That's a good use of those two-hundred and two I.Q. points." I smiled.

**A/N: According to the internet, two-hundred and fifteen I.Q. points makes you a genius, meaning Kylie is just shy of being a genius. Taking into account she's thirteen, that means she's probably going to be a genius.-MN1**

We ended up getting the cops to find the van. They found it, along with two mobsters and Luc, in a warehouse. They wouldn't tell us how hurt Luc was, but when he got to the apartment we saw.

Eva was the first to answer the door, and she immediately started crying when she saw him.

Luc had an eye-patch over his right eye, and gauze on his left hand.

"What happened to you?" I asked.

Luc looked at the floor, then back up at me. "They thought I was from a gang, or something. I don't know. What happened to your fingers, and your head?"

I touched the bandage on the back of my head. "Nothin'. Are you okay? Do you want to go home?"

"I'm fine." Luc said.

"Why'd you toss me out of a window?" Eva asked.

"I didn't want this happening to you." Luc said simply, touching his eye-patch with his right hand. "I would've died if I saw you hurt like they hurt me."

"Did you get shot?" Kylie asked.

Luc smiled. "Nah. I'm bulletproof."

We all laughed at Luc's joke, happy that he hadn't changed.

Sid walked in, looking Luc over.

"Are you okay?" Sid asked. "You lost your eye, and your hand was burned severely."

Luc flexed his hand, looking at it. "I'm fine. I'm going to see this through."

"Alright. Onto the mission. There was a shootout in a fancy hotel. We think it was Xan's doing." Sid said. "The guys sent to investigate said that Xan was going to Atlantic City."

"We get it." I said. "We're going to Jersey."


	7. Chapter 5

Luc

Sid split the team up so we could search the casino , so I was walking with my Weapon, Eva.

"Where are you from?" Eva asked.

"Where'd that come from?"

"I dunno. It's just that your name sounds French, and we've already got an Irish teenager and an Italian teenager. It just seems like you should be from somewhere other than America." Eva shrugged.

"Riley and Kylie are from America." I pointed out.

"But Riley has an Irish accent!"

"And Kylie?"

"I don't know. She looks good."

"She's got a boyfriend." I said. "And to answer your question, I'm French, but I acquired an American accent."

"That's cool! Can you speak French?" Eva smiled.

"Yeah," I said, scratching under my eye-patch. I noticed Eva frowning, and I said "It's not your fault. The only one to blame is the mob, and they're in jail."

"Okay." Eva said.

Riley

"What were you and Luc talking about?" Kylie asked. "You said you liked it, but it made you feel like a pervert."

"Um..." I blushed. "Playing guitar." I lied. In truth, both Luc and I played guitar, but she was talking about a manga we both read (Luc and I had similar interests, and we were becoming good friends quickly.)

"I can tell you're lying, Riley." Kylie said. "You talked about guitars before that. Then, you started talking about xxxHolic."

"It's not my fault CLAMP's awesome." I said.

"So CLAMP made the manga?" Kylie asked.

"...Look! A distraction!"

Kylie stared at me, her big emerald eyes looking straight into mine.

Then, I noticed Xan and Shinobu running behind some slot machines, and I grabbed Kylie's hand. She immediately turned into a Weapon, and I jumped on top of a table and shouted "Xan! We're here to arrest you!"

"Wow, that's stealthy." Luc said, running after where I pointed. When Luc got near him, Xan grabbed Shinobu's arm and she changed into a giant steel baseball bat.

"A kanabo." Kylie said.

"Huh? I didn't say that out loud, did I?" I asked.

"You didn't." Kylie said.

"Then how'd you hear me?" I asked.

"Luc!" Kylie shouted as Luc rounded a corner and nearly got his head cracked open.

But Luc ducked down at the last moment, and the slot machine was smashed into bits. 'If the cops ask if Luc took any coins, I'll say no.' I thought as I DID NOT see Luc take a handful of coins.

Luc kicked Xan in the face. Xan stumbled back, tossing a baseball my way, and said "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?"

"I'm just a sweet transvestite!" Crona shouted.

Kid's jaw dropped.

I imagined those two parts because that baseball? It was a bomb, and I was sent sky-high, smashing into the ceiling.

"Riley? Riley! RILEY!" Kylie shouted.

Luc

'Riley's out of it,' I thought as he smashed into the ceiling. Riley fell to the ground, laughing and bleeding from his head, as Kylie pulled him away from the action.

"Whoa." Xan muttered. "Never seen that before."

"Tell me about it." Shinobu said, appearing in the reflection of the studs on the baseball bat.

"Kanabo." Eva said.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Not that crap again!" Xan said. "Anyways, leave me alone you imbecile! I'm trying to find who's framing me!"

"Huh?"

"Stop saying 'huh.' I did not blow up those houses! The doctor did!" Xan said.

"The Doctor? Like I'm going to believe a Time Lord would do that!" I said.

Eva palmed her face in the reflection of my cutlass.

"Ah, screw it. Partial Soul Resonance!" Xan said, and tapped me with the baseball bat.

"What was that gonna-ah!" I was shocked, and, before blacking out, I chuckled. "God of Thunder and rock and roll."

Kylie

I ran out when Luc blacked out, my arm a claymore's blade.

"Glad he's unconscious." Xan said, then turned to me. "Kylie, I didn't do it. It was my old teacher, Doctor Li."

I looked at Rye, who was singing 'Ireland, Ireland, we're better 'n you!' and bleeding.

"Rye believed you, so I guess I will." Kylie said. "Who's Doctor Li?"

"He taught me how to make explosives. You need to get your brother and the man with the eye-patch and come with me. What happened to that guy's eye?" Xan asked, turning to Eva.

"He lost it searching for you, along with scarring his hand." Eva said, looking at Luc's bandaged hand.

"Oh, fine. Time to go," Xan said, not feeling bad.

"Knew you wouldn't have a heart." I muttered.

"How could ya' be so heartless!" Riley sang, then said "Hey, is that song about Sora? 'Cuz he lost his heart? Man, when's Kingdom Hearts getting a third game? I wanna beat up them guys!"

"Oh jeez." Eva muttered.


	8. Chapter 6

Delusional Riley

Eva and Luc ran up to me as my legs worked against my will, causing me to walk into this strange shop. They seemed to be children.

"Welcome!" They both chimed unanimously, and took me by the hand.

"Wait? What the-? Is this xxxHolic?" I asked. Then, they opened an old Japanese-style door, and, sitting there lazily, her long, bare legs out for the world to see. "WHOA! COVER UP!" I said, blocking my eyes.

"This shop sells wishes, for a price." Kylie said, turning to me. "What is your wish?"

"To marry Maka-chan." I said, swooning like Watanuki would've about Himawari. Kylie handed me a ring box, and pointed to the door.

"You've already paid _that_ price, Rye." Kylie smiled. "Stop sacrificing yourself, 'kay?"

I shook my head, then walked out the door, but not before saying. "I can't." As soon as I was through the door, I turned into a giant set of armor. Kylie was, of course, wearing a red jacket and gloves.

"You gotta be kidding me." I sighed.

"What's wrong?" Kylie asked.

"I mean, at first I was believing this, but c'mon! Anime series I like?" I asked. "And what's with that title? 'Delusional Riley' doesn't fit very well since I know what's going on."

(Not So) Delusional Riley

"That's better, I suppose." I said, then realized I was the main character from Chobits. "Oh hell no!"

_(After the most uncomfortable moments in Riley's life.)_

I wiped my head off, then saw that I was Sparrow from Fable 2, and I was standing in front of Lucien. Kylie was beside me, and Lucien was holding a gun.

"This is just insane," I sighed, and Kylie was shot.

"No!" Kylie shouted, just like Rose had.

Then, Lucien turned the gun on me, and I realized who he was.

"Stein?" I asked.

*Fangirl squeal!*

We both stopped.

"What was that?" Stein-Lucien asked.

"I dunno, Stein." I said.

*Fangirl squeal!*

We both looked around the room.

"Stein," Stein-Lucien tested.

*Fangirl squeal!*

"Just shoot me." I said, and Stein-Lucien shot me, causing me to fly through the window. I landed in a bed, beside Kylie, who was seven.

"C'mon Big Riley! You gotta train for football!" Kylie shouted.

"The Blind Side? For the love of all that's sacred, stop this!" I shouted.

Luc

"Maka has a flat-chest! You're ugly! Ireland sucks!" I shouted, my face right over Riley's. We were with Xan, in a crappy abandoned place where he was staying.

"What are you doing?" Kylie asked.

"I figure, if he's angry enough, he'll wake up. I did Maka and she liked it!" I shouted.

"You're going to deafen Riley if you keep doing that," Eva said, running her hand through Riley's hair.

"What else would get Riley mad?" I asked.

Kylie shrugged. "Rye's a really happy guy."

"I did Kylie and she liked it!" I shouted.

I was quieted by a swift kick to the ribs, delivered by Kylie.

"You forgot she was standing right there, didn't you?" Eva asked.

"She was on my blind side. Gimme a break!" I coughed, holding my hurt side.

"Could you hurry and wake him up. We need to find Doctor Li." Xan said, breaking the silent state he'd been in.

"Screw you!" Luc shouted. "He just got blown up by you!"

"You attacked first. A counter-attack is fair." Shinobu said.

"You already cost me an eye. If Riley doesn't get better, I'll kill you." Luc said.

"You can try." Xan said.

"That said," Eva interrupted, "we're on your side."

"You might be, but Luc doesn't seem to be." Xan said.

"I am." Luc assured.

"Now that that's sorted out..." Kylie trailed off.

Suddenly, Riley opened his eyes and sat off. Then he saw Xan.

"We're with you now?" Riley asked, then smiled. "Cool."

**A/N: You have no idea how good it felt to write that first half.**

**-MN1**


	9. Chapter 7

Luc

"We're on a boat! We're on a boat! Take a good, hard look at this-" Riley sang, only for his mouth to be covered by Kylie.

"Shh!" Kylie said.

"Kylie, how do you know Xan?" I asked as she kept her gigantic brother from rapping.

"I, uh, met him at DWMA." Kylie said.

"You think we'll ever go back?" I asked.

"I don't think so, unless we get this resolved." Xan said.

"Do you ever think Eva will go out with Riley?" I asked, snickering.

"Luc!" Eva shouted, hitting me.

"Calm down. We don't want to injure ourselves before the fight with Li." Xan said.

"Is he all you think about?" I asked.

"Pause." Eva said.

Eva

I liked Riley. It was obvious, really. I thought that his protective instincts were attractive, his emerald eyes were beautiful, and I liked taller guys, anyways.

"Luc! Stop making jokes about me! Riley's right there!" I said.

"Stop freaking out! He's, like, drugged up right now." Luc said. "The drugs we gave him won't wear off for awhile.

"Hey, Luc, are you a pirate?" Riley asked.

"Okay, that's just offensive." Luc frowned.

"This is going to be a long, long trip." Kylie sighed.

"Hey, Shinobu's kinda hot." Riley whispered loudly in Luc's ear. "If you go for strawberry-blondes."

Luc

"That's Eva. Shinobu's got black hair." I corrected, and Eva floated up to the ceiling. I rolled my eye and turned to Xan. "You got something about you, Xan. Something tragic."

"There may be, but you do also." Xan said.

"Losing your eye does that to a guy," I said.

"Losing a partner does, too."

"How much do you know about me?"

"Next to nothing, other than you are impatient and reckless."

"I'm learning, which is better than you're doing. Leave the past behind, Xan, or you won't change." I said.

"It's hard to escape the past when the same situations are present." Xan said.

"The situation doesn't make the man. The man makes the situation." I said. "Dad said that all the time. It was in French, though."

"Your dad must not have been framed for blowing up half of a country." Xan said.

"Maybe not, but he always knew what to do." I said.

"Why are you speaking in past tense?" Kylie asked.

"'Cause dad isn't around anymore." I said.

"Like Rye's dad?" Kylie asked.

"I guess. I don't know his dad." I said.

"He wasn't a very good guy," Riley said, lying down with his head on Kylie's lap.

"When did you figure that out?" Eva asked, concerned.

"When he tried killing himself and taking me along with him." Riley said.

"That's terrible!" Eva said.

"He's still got a girlfriend, Eva." I said.

"Shut up, Luc!" Eva said as Riley sang 'Tik Tok' by Ke$ha.

"We need to stay together in order to clear our names." Shinobu said.

Oh, stay still my beating-damn-heart. Someone with sense.

"My head hurts. And why is a Ke$ha song running in my head?" Riley asked.

"You were listening to my iPod." Kylie lied.

"I was having the weirdest dreams." Riley said, and turned to Eva. She immediately blushed. "Where are we?"


	10. Chapter 8

Luc

I sat, leaning on the wall beside Eva.

"Do you think, if I asked Riley out, he'd dump Maka?" Eva asked.

I scratched under my eye-patch, and, fortunately, saw that Eva didn't feel guilty about it anymore.

"I don't want you to get hurt, Eva. Forget about Riley. Find another guy, one without a girlfriend." I said.

"Like who, you?" Eva giggled.

I frowned and looked at the ground, then was about to say 'yeah' when, suddenly, Stein walked out from a corner, Ms. Marie beside him.

"You are under arrest." Stein said.

Eva looked at me, as if to say 'what do we do?'

"You're not getting by us." I said, taking Eva by the hand.

Ms. Marie looked at me. "We were told to hurt you guys if you resisted. Please don't make Stein use me."

"I'm loyal to my friends." I said as Eva changed into a cutlass.

Ms. Marie changed into a hammer, and Stein took his glasses off. "One last chance." Stein said.

"Just hurry." I said, hearing a giant racket within the warehouse.

Stein shot forward, hitting me in the stomach. I shouted in pain, and he swung me over his shoulder, smashing me into the ground, cracking the asphalt.

Stein got near to the door, and I pulled him backwards, then stood and brought the cutlass up.

"You should've gotten a Weapon that was a katana, not a cutlass. You look like you belong in a samurai film," Stein said.

"You look like you belong in a horror movie." I said, and swung Eva around, trying to cut his side. Stein blocked it with Ms. Marie's staff, then hit me in the back with the hammer, making me fall down. Still, I stood and attacked again. It barely made contact with Stein when he used the top of Marie's hammer to hit it up, then kick me in the stomach. I tried getting up, and Stein put his foot on my back.

"Why are you fighting when you can't win?" Stein asked.

I frowned, and said "You don't understand emotions. Why explain myself?"

Eva heard Riley shout, changed human, and ran off into an alleyway.

Stein watched her leave me behind, and took his foot off of me. "Go."

"You'll follow me. I'm an easy target." I said, patting my camo jacket. Then, I raised my fists up, feeling betrayed, but still ready to protect my friends. "Je vais perdre, mais pas avant mes amis sortir." I said in perfect French. In English I said I'm going to lose, but not before my friends get away.

"I'll take that as a no." Stein said, and put Ms. Marie down, raising his own fists.

I shot forward, swinging my fist, but Stein dodged my punch, caught my left wrist and hit me in the face twice, then kneed me in the stomach, twisting my arm behind my back and holding my face down on the asphalt. "Ms. Marie, go inside." Stein said.

I struggled against Stein, but he just said "The only way to escape this hold is to break your own arm."

I took a deep breath, then twisted my body around, snapping my arm. I brought my fist up into a stunned Stein's face, knocking him back, and stood, limping over and leaning against the wall. Ms. Marie hadn't moved an inch from where she had been standing.

"You can barely stand. Please, just move before Stein kills you!" Ms. Marie said.

"No." I said.

Stein walked forward and said "Look at what being with the others have gotten you. You've lost an eye, you're wanted, and you're arm's broken."

"I don't care." I said, swinging my fist. Stein caught it, and pushed me back.

"You're blacking out." Stein said.

"As long as I can...can stand, I'll fight you." I said, struggling to speak.

Ms. Marie walked towards me, and I said "Please, don't make me hit you."

Ms. Marie, instead, gave me a hug. "It's okay." She said, patting me on the back. "I know where you came from. I know you don't have a family, and that you were homeless."

"How?" I asked.

"Shh." Ms. Marie said.

I fell, but she caught me. "We're going to fix your arm." Ms. Marie said, helping me lay down. "Stein, help me get him to the car."

Stein looked down the alley regretfully, then turned to us, and did as Ms. Marie said.


	11. Chapter 8 and a half

Luc

As soon as I woke up in the hospital, a cast on my arm, I was put in prison clothes and put in a cell with Kid, across from Liz and Patti.

As soon as they saw me, they were surprised. "Oh my god!" Liz exclaimed. "Did you get hit by a truck?"

"Why are you a pirate?" Patti asked.

"You're...asymmetrical." Kid said.

"Hello to you guys, too." I said, sitting against a wall.

"What happened to you?" Liz asked, putting her face on the bars between us.

"My eye got cut out by the Russian mob, my arm's permanently scarred...not that you can see past the cast, really...and Stein broke my arm. And all the bruises on my face are from him, too." I said. "Why do you guys care? You only know I was with Riley and co."

"Where are the others?" Liz asked.

"Where's Xan?" Patti asked.

"He your boyfriend? Well, opposites attract, I suppose." I shrugged, then frowned when it hurt. "They're off to get Doctor Li, the guy who blew up Rio De Janeiro."

"Maka's worried about Riley. She visited a while ago," Kid said.

"Huh. I'm more worried about Eva." I said. "I'm angry too, though. She ran off for Riley."

"She likes Riley and not you, huh?" Liz asked.

"I don't like her. She literally ran off in the middle of my fight with Stein when Riley shouted from an alley, and I had a fist-fight with Stein." I said, holding up my cast and tapping it.

"Oh." Liz said.

"It's okay. Eva really does like Riley. I keep telling her it'll go bad, but she won't listen." I said.

"Do you think Xan'll be okay?" Patti asked.

"Honestly, anyone who gets in Xan's way is the one you should be worried about. Xan's gonna be fine." I said. "Riley will, too. That kinda guy won't die."

"Hey, what's your name?" Liz asked.

"Luc. I'm some French kid who'll die before he leaves his friends behind." I said, taking Liz's hand through the bars and kissing it. "And you are?"

"I think you already know who I am." Liz said.

"I was briefed on you right before we went off to capture you guys." I admitted. "Though I prefer you in person."

Liz giggled, then blushed and started running her hand through her hair.

"So, you're Kid, right?" I asked.

"Uh-huh." Kid said.

"Nice to meet you."

"Get away! Asymmetrical!" Kid shouted, then crawled up fetal-position and whispered things to himself.

"You need therapy." I said.


	12. Chapter 9

Riley

I saw Dr. Li and Durendal running in opposite directions, and Xan said "Get Li!"

I nodded, and grabbed Eva's hand. She changed into a weapon, and I put her on the other side of my belt, then ran after Li.

Li was a pretty fast guy, but I still tried to keep up with him. Then, he kicked a door open, revealing a night club, with trance fusion performers and a whole bunch of dancers.

"See ya', kid!" Li said, and ran into the constantly-moving crowd.

"Sonofa-!" I said, and was interrupted when some teen pushed me. "Trance-fusion listeners mosh?" I asked, and was pushed against another guy.

"Doctor Li's getting away!" Eva said.

"Just like how Luc got arrested?" Kylie asked harshly. "Just because you have a crush on Rye doesn't mean you should leave Luc behind!"

"That doesn't have anything to do with this!" Eva said.

"Shut it!" I said, pushing through the crowd. "We need to get this guy, and if we're fighting we won't be able to!"

"You're right. Sorry." Kylie said.

I finally broke through the crowd, and took a deep breath, leaning against the wall. "I'm going to go insane." I sighed, my head bowed.

"Um, Rye." Kylie said.

I looked up, and saw Maka and Soul.

"You guys are in New Orleans?" I asked, then chuckled. Leave it to Maka to find the only trance-fusion club in New Orleans."

"Tell me about it. We were here to get an afreet egg, and Maka dragged me here." Soul said.

"What are you doing here? Riley, you're wanted!" Maka said. Kylie changed to her human form and gave Soul a hug, and started telling him what was going on.

I saw Li run out the exit door, and I said "Maka, I gotta give you the short version. Xan's innocent, I'm chasing after the real villain, and I gotta go."

"That really was the short version." Eva muttered.

"You're helping someone? Riley, you won't be able to come back to DWMA. To me!" Maka said, tearing up.

"No, Maka, don't cry." I said.

"Riley, Li's getting away." Eva said, obviously wanting me to leave Maka. In more way than one.

"I gotta go Maka." I said, and gave her a quick hug and a kiss. "I love you."

Maka was surprised I was so direct, that being the first time I told her I loved her, and I ran, following Dr. Li. Kylie quickly caught up to me, and I took her hand. Kylie changed into a claymore, and I hooked her onto my hip.

"Do you think Soul and Maka will forgive us?" Kylie asked.

"I don't know. But I do know one thing: this is all Li's fault, and he's going to regret making Maka cry." I said, catching up to the Doctor.

"Just give up!" Li wheezed. "There's nothing left for you! You think DWMA'll take you back? No, they won't! You think your girlfriend'll take you back?"

"Shut up!" I shouted.

"Your parents will disown you! Your father will hate you!" Doctor Li said.

"I don't have a father!" I shouted, grabbing him around the neck. Suddenly, he shoved a bomb on the ground and it exploded, causing a giant white light to blind me.

"See you later, Irishman!" Li called.

I took Kylie out and, suddenly, she changed into a Mateba Model 6 semi-automatic revolver from Italy. I randomly shot, but I was always a terrible marksman, even when I _could_ see. Eventually, I just sat on the ground, my sight coming back. Eva and Kylie changed back into humans, and sat beside me.

Suddenly, Eva's phone rang. Or, rather, Luc's.

"You stole Luc's phone, too?" Kylie asked.

Eva just handed the phone to me.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"They're getting on the train. Go to the station. I'll be waiting," Xan said, and immediately hung up.

I forced myself up, my legs feeling like they were lead, and I said "Let's get to the train."


	13. Chapter 10

Riley

I put my iPod in my ears and began listening to 'This is War' by 30 Seconds To Mars. I had to turn it up loud to actually hear it, but having earbuds in my ears even without music calmed me down. It was a comfort thing.

"Y'know, this reminds me of how I wanted to be a train driver when I was a kid." I said.

_'To the right/To the left/We will fight/To the death!'_

"You wanted to be a train driver?" Eva asked.

"Yeah. Nowadays I hate vehicles." I said, drawing both Kylie and Eva.

"Soul Resonance!" We all shouted, and smashed through the train car.

Luc

They woke me up and dragged me off to a room. I was sleepy, so I didn't fight back, but when I got sat at the dented, scratched, stainless-steel table, I really wished that I did fight back.

Especially when Maka walked in. I'd never met Maka before, of course, but Riley was the hero of our generation. Or, rather, that's what everyone wanted you to believe. You would believe it, too, because of all the magazines and shows talking about how awesome he was. Riley never cared about it though, being the jolly Irishman he was. Now, that seems random, but the hero of a generation's girlfriend gets plenty of time on the screen, too.

Maka wore her usual clothing, and sat across from me, glaring at me.

"Why are one of your eyes closed?" Maka asked.

"They took my eye-patch." I said, moving my single handcuffed hand (they couldn't fit handcuffs around the cast, so they handcuffed me to the chair.) They'd left the bandages on my burned hand, since I wasn't healed yet.

"You lost your eye?" Maka asked.

I nodded.

"Please, tell me, what's Riley doing?" Maka asked.

I looked at the one-sided glass, where Death Scythes were sure to be. "I appreciate what you're doing, but I plea the fifth."

"What?"

"I plea the fifth, avoiding self-incrimination."

Maka stood up angrily. "I don't care about laws! I care about Riley!"

I stayed sitting. "I don't even know where they are. I know you want to get to Riley, but we were moving at a fast pace, chasing Dr. Li."

"So you know nothing?"

"Apart that Dr. Li, who taught Xan, is the one who blew up Brazil, no."

Maka sat down heavily, covering her eyes from me.

"Maka, Riley will be okay. I feel it." I said. "Il ira bien."

"What's that mean?"

"It's French, my natural language. It means 'it will be okay."

Riley

I landed, with several guards in front of me. I slowly slid Eva and Kyle against each other, making a horrible sound as well as being theatrical.

The guards immediately attacked me. One swung a sword at me, and a blocked him with Eva, cutting his leg open with Kylie. Then, when he fell on the ground, I hit him with Eva's hilt, knocking him out.

Another tackled me, grabbing me around the neck. That might've hurt me more if the guy wasn't five-none. I immediately jumped back, crushing him underneath over six feet of Irish teenager. I quickly stood, and looked straight at a half-man, half-machine.

The machine tackled me, smashing me against a wall and pulling his fist back. His fist shot forward, and I managed to move left so that he wouldn't crack my skull with his fist.

Kylie

When Rye was pinned against the wall, I changed human and got behind the robot. Then, I jumped and grabbed it, putting it in a headlock. It immediately started trying to throw me off.

"Now!" I squealed.

Rye cut the robot's leg off, then, when I jumped off, impaled it. Then, he sat down.

"Girl power, huh?" Rye smiled.

"Aye." I mocked him.

Rye quickly gave me a hug, said 'thanks,' and we were off.


	14. Chapter 11

Riley

Blue 11 jumped at me, and I barely dodged her rapier.

"Y'know, your blue hair's not that bad-looking." I noted.

"Don't flirt with her!" Kylie and Eva said at the same time.

"You don't deserve to flirt with me," Blue 11 said.

"A superiority complex. Interesting." Kylie said.

"I don't have any complexes!" Blue 11 shouted.

"'Cept for a shouting complex." I snickered.

"What did you say?" Blue 11 asked.

"And a hearing problem." Eva said.

Blue 10 attempted to stab me in the stomach, but I sliced her Weapon away, making sparks.

"Hey Kylie," I said. "Can you turn into that freaky gun again?"

"Sure." Kylie said, and changed.

"What kind of gun is that?" Eva asked.

"I don't know. It looks like a revolver, but it's semi-automatic." I said, and pointed it at Blue 11, feeling like an Irish Dirty Harry.

"Quote Dirty Harry and die." Blue 11 said.

"Right then." I said, and shot at her.

Problem was, I missed terribly. I shot again...and again...and again...

"You can't aim!" Eva laughed.

I frowned and shot faster, almost hitting Blue 11 once. Every other shot was a forearm's length away from her.

"Piss!" I shouted, turning the gun sideways and shooting, to see if it would help. I tried every way of shooting I knew- firing from the hip, holding the gun upside-down, everything! -and I missed every shot. Blue 11 even stood still, laughing as I missed.

I frowned, and took Eva out. "Let's just finish this."

"What are you, a pirate?" Blue 11 laughed.

"Yo-ho, bitch." Eva said.

"That was uncharacteristic." I noted. Blue 11 ran forward, attempting to kick me in the side of the head, but I ducked under it, grabbing her ankle and pulling her down.

Blue 10 stood up, frowning.

"Man, I wish Luc were here. He'd be all like 'how dare you use something French!'" I thought, ignoring Blue 11.

Blue 11 shouted "Yo! Ugly! Look at me!"

"Why are you ignoring her?" Eva asked.

"I can't fight a girl, and this chick hates _not_ being the center of the world." I said, and winked. "It's tactical."

Eva blushed brightly.

"This is dangerous," Kylie whispered.

"Why are you ignoring me!" Blue 11 shouted.

"Fighting is dangerous." I said.

Blue 11 ran at me, and I spun around, narrowly avoiding her.

"I wonder what's going on in Naruto." I thought. "Man, it's hard. I'm on chapter two-hundred and ninety-one, and there's, like, five-hundred chapters."

**A/N: At time of writing, there are five-hundred chapters precisely and exactly. -MN1**

I took out my iPod and started bobbing my head, as if I was listening to music.

"Notice me!" Blue 11 shouted, sitting down and freaking out.

"So, Eva, are you interested in any music?" I asked.

"I don't like music." Eva said.

"How is that possible?" I asked. "I can't understand how someone wouldn't like music."

"Hey, Riley, do you read fanfiction?" Eva asked.

I shrugged. "A little, I suppose. Any good ones?"

"There's this one for Naruto called Naruto: Kyl-" Eva began.

"Hey, Blue's freaking out." Kylie said.

I turned to see Blue 11 shouting on the floor, crying.

"The world doesn't revolve around you, Blue." I said. "Nothing will change that. You need to get help if it's this-"

Blue suddenly shot up, piercing me through the side with her rapier.

"Do you really think I'm that self-absorbed. So easy to-" Blue said when, suddenly, I socked her in the face, knocking her out.

"Ow." I said, pulling the rapier out of my side.

"What are you going to do?" Kylie asked.

I looked down at Blue. "Everyone gets a chance," I said. "We'll give her one when we get to Death City."

A teenage boy with gray hair climbed up from the train car. He was lithe, and kind of short, with grey eyes.

"Lemme guess," I said. "Gray nine."

"Gray six." The teen said.

"Close." I shrugged. "Why are you working with these guys?"

"Getting my little sister killed wasn't an option." Gray six said. "My mom and dad still don't know what's up. Think I'm in a boarding school."

"Adults, right?" Kylie laughed.

"Yeah." Gray nodded.

I fist-bumped Gray six. "You seem cool. Look over Blue 11 'til we can get some of the cops or something. I'll make sure you don't get any time in prison."

Gray six smiled, but frowned when he saw Blue 11. "Dude, this chick's nuts. Very unstable."

"I can tell." I said, holding my side.

Gray six held out some bandages, which I took, and walked over to Blue. "If she wasn't insane, she'd be a pretty cute girl."

"Maybe I knocked part of her brain into place." I said.

"Maybe." Gray said hopefully. "By the way, my name's Robert. Friends call me Robbie."

"See ya', Robbie." I said. "I'm Riley."

"Riley McConnell?" Robbie asked.

I nodded.

"Can't see why they'd want you arrested." Robbie said. "Whatever. Not like they can catch you."

I shrugged. "Hey, why hasn't her Weapon changed back?"

"I'm her Weapon. I wasn't going to fight against you guys- I mean, Li's far away from my sister now, so he couldn't hurt her -so she grabbed a normal sword." Robbie said. "Lot of good it did her."


	15. Chapter 12

Riley

"You shall not pass!" A dude in white said.

'Great. Gandolf's against us.' I thought.

"I am White One, the most superior of Durendal's meisters, and, though you've disabled my inferiors, I was able to block your attack with no resonance with my weapon. I am invincible." Gandolf said.

"All you power rangers are crazy," Kylie said, turning halfway-human.

"Little girls shouldn't speak out of turn!" White One said, lunging forward and smacking Kylie, causing her to yelp in pain.

**A/N: You now have two options: 1. Look away while I try to earn my T rating, or 2. Turn on some heavy music and read. -MN1**

Paraphrasing Cannibal Corpse, something inside of me came out. I forced Xan to take Kylie while Eva changed into human form and moved to the others as I took deep breaths, trying to hold back.

But, the crazy son of a bitch inside of me got out. Compare me to Naruto and his Nine-Tailed Fox. Compare me to a psycho killer. Whatever you do, know that I avenged my sister by giving this damn Gandalf wanna-be the beating of his life.

I ran forward, driving my giant fist into his face, breaking his nose. Then, when he was on the ground, I got on top of White One and let my fists swing, ripping the skin on my knuckles as I repeatedly hit him, hearing nothing but my blood rushing through my body.

I grabbed the sides of his head, headbutted his bloody face, and smashed his head against the train. Then, I stood, moved White One so he was on his knees, and started kicking him in the ribs. I definitely heard something snap.

I tossed White One against a spot of wall without a Meister stuck on it and smashed into him, then grabbed his shoulder, bringing my knee up into his groin. Then, I picked him up and went psycho-wrestler, picking him up and smashing him against the ground.

White One tried getting up, but I began kicking him, shouting obscenities that would've made Ma slap me upside the head.

"You mother f***er! You're going to f**k die, you *****mn son of a ****ing w**re!" I shouted, hitting several teeth from White One's mouth.

White One was, obviously, beyond consciousness. I stood, and faced the group.

"Ready to save the day?" I asked.

"You know it!" Xan said, possibly a little scared.


	16. Chapter 13

Riley

"Open up Durendal, Li!" Xan shouted. "I don't want to make this harder than it has been!"

"Why knock?" Kylie asked. "It's not like they'll-"

Slowly, the door opened, showing a dark room. A metal ball came flying out, and Xan immediately went to the floor like a freakin' action hero.

"Hit the floor!" Xan shouted, releasing the magnetic field so all the Meisters hit the floor.

As I rolled to the ground, I thought 'Whaddya know, he's got _some_ heart. Maybe.'

The bomb exploded, but Xan kept us from getting shredded with his magnetic fields, making me wonder if I should've paid attention during science class. Oddly, the room had been blown to bits, and the explosion sent if flying off.

"What the crap was that?" I asked, looking up.

"That was one of Li's bombs. It appears that it is now time to answer their knock. Do you mind fighting Li? I need to kill Durendal myself." Xan said.

I don't like violence, or cussing, so I just shrugged. "Whatever you want, man. Long as we save Death City."

"Okay. But be warned, Li, no matter how old he looks, is a fierce fighter, and won't avoid cheap shots."

"He's evil." I said. "'Course he'd cheat."

Xan used his powers to break the steel door off its hinges. Of course, there was another barrier using energy behind it.

"It appears that I'll have to do some heavier breaking!" Xan said and, before I could say 'this is ridiculous,' Xan blew the walls of the room off the car so we were on a flat steel platform in the middle of the train.

'Lot of good that did, Xan.' I thought.

In front of us, there was a half-circle of energy, with Durendal in it. Li stood outside it, freaking out.

"Durendal, come on! There's two of them! They'll kill me!" Li shouted.

'No honor among murderers? Bet Li wishes he was a thief.' I thought.

"Li!" Xan shouted. "What have you been reduced to since I left? When I knew you, you weren't that good of a person, but you'd never do this sort of thing! And begging for your life, too? That's just embarrassing!"

"What would you know? You left, most others followed, and I was reduced to working for these people. Scientific research doesn't come without sacrifice, and the Academy and the Police were closing in. I was offered shelter from these forces if I would work for them. They provide me with the resources to conduct experiments!" Li shouted.

"Sorry to interrupt," I said, "I'm Riley, and I was wondering by what you mean by resources. 'Cause if you mean Orochumaru-resources, we're gonna have a problem."

Li pretty much said 'I mean test subjects, dumbass.' Then, he called Stein a coward.

"What would you know about bravery?" Kylie asked, pissed off. "We just saw you begging to get away from my 'simpleton' brother!"

"Okay, I'll fight Orochimaru here while you do your thing." I said, and ran at Li while Kylie changed into a claymore and Eva, shocked silent, was a cutlass.

Li took out a dagger, and blocked Kylie as he threw some powder into my eyes.

I walked backwards, blinking and coughing. "I can't see!" I said.

Eva changed into her human form and raised her fists.

"Oh jeez." I said, rubbing my eyes.

Eva

"Careful!" Kylie cautioned.

I nearly laughed. They had no idea how good I was at fighting. Li stabbed at me with his dagger and I grabbed his wrist, twisting it until he dropped his dagger. Then, when he tried that powder stuff, I kicked him right in the family jewels.

"I thought Li was going to cheat." Riley said, able to see again.

I hit Li in the face, sending him back, and grabbed Riley's hand, blushing a crazy amount as I changed into a cutlass.

Riley

"You're a fist-fighter?" I asked, surprised.

"Looks can be decieveing." Eva said shyly. I blocked an attack as Li swung his dagger at me, and sparks shot up. Kylie suddenly changed into a gun.

"Riley, your wavelength's all messed up!" Kylie said. "You want me to be a sword, but your wavelength wants me to be a gun."

"How'd you know I want you as a sword?"

"You aim like a drunk."

"Ouch. My Irish pride." I said sarcastically, then shouted in pain as I shot myself in the foot (physically, not metaphorically.)

Li laughed. "You are so stupid!"

I frowned, then took a deep breath and pointed Kylie at his head.

"You can't aim. You can only shoot yourself." Li said, but nevertheless, he stuck his hands up.

"Dude," I said. "I got a sword." I then knocked him out by smiting him with Eva's handle.

Who said simple never worked?


	17. Chapter 14

Riley

I listened to 'Cloud of Unknowing,' by The Gorillaz as I attempted to keep myself from severe injury.

"Hold out for a little longer!" Xan shouted, dodging an attack by ducking, then hitting the Meister in the stomach with Shinobu.

I blocked two swords, sparks flying up, and saw a particularly fast Meister run up to Xan.

'Piss.' I thought, then grabbed the Meister around the neck, dropping Eva. As soon as I grabbed the Meister, I was stabbed several times in the back, and I screamed in pain.

"Riley!" Shinobu shouted. Xan turned around and drove his steel baseball-bat-thingy into the Meister's head, knocking him out. I fell on the ground, coughing up blood and bleeding.

"Riley," Kylie shouted, going to my side.

"I can't hold these guys off alone!" Xan shouted.

Gray Six (a.k.a. Robbie)

I jumped into the battle, quickly picking up Eva and blocking a stab to Kylie.

"Shame on you!" I shouted, kicking the Meister in the face using the Capoeira style, using my left hand, the one without a Weapon, to hold myself up. Then, I quickly stood and kicked another Meister's legs out from under them.

"That's an exceptional fighting style." Xan commented.

"Thanks. You learn a few things from the neighborhood I come from." I said, spinning Eva in my hand. Then, I turned around and blocked an attack from a Meister, then knocked his Weapon out of his hand.

"Where are you from?" Eva asked.

I blocked another attack to Kylie, then hit the Meister on the head with the handle of the cutlass.

"Brazil." I said.

"Really?"

"How else would I be so tan?"

"Tanning bed." Eva said. I got cut on my shoulder-blade.

Immediately, I hit him in the face. "Sorry that I don't use you more often. I'm not used to using a Weapon."

Eva blushed. "It's fine. After this, so you want to go somewhere...?"

I smiled. "Yeah, I'd love it."

Suddenly, a kid in a suit on a flying skateboard flew up, holding two guns upside-down.

"This can't be real." I said.

"It is. That's Kid." Eva said.

Suddenly, Kid lifted his guns.

"Down!" Xan said, and I jumped on the ground. In the neighborhood I come from, when someone says 'down,' you get on the ground.

Kid shot every single one of the Meisters, all of them going immediately unconscious. Then, Death Scythes ran up, grabbing the Meisters and taking them off.

As soon as Kid quit shooting, I ran over to the giant teenager named Riley and helped him up, with Kylie sitting there, not believing what was going on.

"Stop!" Kid shouted.

I immediately understood he had me wrong. "No, wait! I'm-!" Kid immediately shot me, sending me flying back. I went over the side of the train but, at the last moment, Xan grabbed my ankle and hauled me up.

Eva

"What the hell!" I shouted.

"What?" Kid asked.

"Robbie's with us!"

"Oh."

I ran over to Robbie as several Death Scythes helped up Riley.

"C'mon Robbie," I said, picking him up. Surprisingly, Xan helped me.

"Ow." Robbie said.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

Robbie touched where Kid had shot him, lifting up his shirt a bit. On his well-sculpted stomach, there was a scar.

"Right where the old one was." Robbie said, and closed his eyes.


	18. Chapter 15

Luc

I walked out into the blinding sunlight, squinting the only eye I had left.

The cop let me out of my handcuffs and said "Have a nice day."

"Baise-moi, salaud." I said. The translation? 'F**k me, b***ard.'

"So, Luc." Liz said. "Have any plans for Saturday night?"

"No. Do you? I'd love to take a pretty girl like you out to dinner." I said.

Liz blushed brightly when, suddenly, Kid ran out of the prison.

"Xan needs us!" Kid shouted.

Liz waved by as Kid dragged her off, and, as soon as she was gone, I smiled and fist-pumped.

'Thank God that Americans think the French are hot!' I thought.

**A/N: I think that line might offend someone...If it offends you, sorry. If it makes you laugh, my mission was accomplished-MN1**

_In the hospital._

"So, Eva." I said. "You got a boyfriend?"

"Yeah." Eva smiled, holding this one kid's hand. He was really skinny, with tan skin and grey hair.

"So, who is this kid?" I asked.

"Robbie. He's from Brazil, apparently." Eva said.

"I am from Brazil." Robbie said, opening his eyes. "Nice to meet you, err..."

"Luc. Spelled L-U-C." I said. "I'm from France."

Robbie smiled. "So, what was your childhood like?"

"I was homeless, and had no family."

"I lived in a slum where I learned Capoeira, got shot, and, finally, had to work with Doctor Li to keep my family safe."

After a few moments, we shook hands.

"I think this is going to be a good friendship." Robbie said.

"Yeah," I smiled.

Riley

_Beep...beep...beep...beeeeeeep._ '_And if your heart stops beating/I'll be here wondering/__And if your heart stops beating/I'll be here wondering/Did you get what you deserve?/The ending of your life/And if you get to heaven/I'll be here waiting, babe/Did you get/what you deserve?/The end, and if your life won't wait/Then your heart can't take this.'_

You might think that, since I quoted a large amount of My Chemical Romance's song 'Dead!' and put the beeping of a heart monitor there, I'd be dead. In fact, the heart monitor's finger clip just came off.

A nurse rushed in, freaking out.

"Sorry about that." I said, trying to sit up.

"Don't move." The nurse said. "We had to stitch up your back."

"Great. More scars. Bet Maka'll find me really attractive. 'Hey, Maka, I look like Edward Scissorhands!'" I said.

"Hey, I think Johnny Depp is really attractive." Maka said, walking in the door. Immediately, he hugged and kissed passionately.

I love waking up in the hospital whenever Maka's near.

Kylie

I was sitting on a bench, feeling lonely. Maka and my brother were together, Luc and Liz were on a double-date with Eva and Robbie, and I couldn't find.

"Why are you sitting alone?" Soul asked, sitting right beside me.

"Where were you?" I asked.

"I was looking for you, as uncool as it seems." Soul shrugged, his famous half-smile making me putty in his hands.

I hugged him, smiling. Soul put his hands around my hips and kissed me.

You'd think that someone with sharp teeth would be hard to kiss. You would think wrongly.

**A/N: I just love a happy ending!**

**-MN1**


End file.
